One more...

One more. One more semester. One more first day of class. One more set of syllabi to read and dread the work within. One more amazon.com order of books. One more.

To quote one of my all-time favorite movies, Home Alone, “This is it. Don’t get scared now.”

My parents have a picture of me in the driveway of the Mount Hermon Baptist Church parsonage at Route 2, Box 37, Danville, VA, 24540 taken September, 1992. The picture is of me flexing my muscles, ready to tackle the challenges of the day. Kindergarten. The first day of school. Monday, January 9, 2012, I will flex my muscles one more time, but this time at 3001 Mercer University Drive, Atlanta, GA 30341. One more.

Edgewater High School, May 2005. Samford University, May 2009. McAfee School of Theology at Mercer University, May 2012.

One more. 20 of my 25 years (come May) have been spent in school—Learning the alphabet, learning to read, learning to add, subtract, multiply, and divide, learning to raise my hand to speak, running the mile and seeing how many pull-ups I could do, learning algebra and geometry, biology and chemistry (well, at least I passed that class), learning history and government, learning how to write research papers, learning how to balance debits and credits, learning about theories and theologians, learning how to prepare and preach a sermon, learning how to exegete, learning my social location, learning the about church fathers, and the leaders in history of the church, learning stages of faith, learning how to listen, learning how to love, learning how to serve. 20 years. I have learned how to learn and am grateful for all the teachers, coaches, and professors that have taught me.

I am excited for the end of formal education. I am ready not to have to write papers, study for exams, not read pages upon pages for class after class. I am not ready to leave a place that I truly love. I am not ready to leave people whom have become family. What’s next? What does the future hold? Where will I be this time in a year? 5 years? 10? 20?

I don’t know.

And that kills me.

I like being in control. I like knowing what the future holds. 20 years of school was easy. Kindergarten to 12^th grade, freshman year to graduating Cum Laude at Samford. Being a “first year” to graduating with a Masters of Divinity at McAfee. One year led to the next. One grade to the next. One degree to the next. Summer break to Christmas break to summer break again.

But after McAfee what happens? What about the future, who knows? I have no clue. Will I stay in the Atlanta/Tucker area? Will I move? I have submitted résumés. I have explored options. I have prayed for an answer. I have Googled and MapQuested. What’s next?

What’s next? I don’t know. I wish it were easy.

It is.

“Not my will, but yours be done.”